


Dust and Shadows

by jimmoriartyisthebestboss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Cussing, During Canon, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimmoriartyisthebestboss/pseuds/jimmoriartyisthebestboss
Summary: Bucky Barnes is gone. He has been turn to dust by the space Titan Thanos and Steve Rogers is grieving his loss. But when an unexpected voice comes through, Steve finds hope again.





	Dust and Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This was an experimental piece that I wrote after seeing Infinity War. I was absolutely heart broken and wanted to find a way that Steve and Bucky could still be together. Like I said, this is experimental so it's a bit of a different take on their story for me.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Steve doesn’t know how long he sits in the dirt and runs his fingers through the ash that has sifted there. Bucky’s gun is sitting where it had fallen to the dirt. The scene plays over and over in his mind as his hand keeps sifting and sifting. This was what remains of his best friend, his love. Ash mixes with the dirt of Wakanda, a place Bucky said he has come to love. Steve was going to ask if they could stay, if he and Bucky could seek sanction in Wakanda with T’Challa. They wouldn’t stay in the city and instead would have stayed at the small farm that Bucky has been tending. All that has literally gone up in ash.

Tears streak down Steve’s dirty and bloodied face. He could still hear the cries of his friends, the people he fought with. They had all slowly left him alone as he stared down at the ash in his hands. “Buck... I’m so sorry.”

Steve feels his throat close as he says the words.

_Don’t do anything stupid until I get back._ Stupid like get his friends killed? Have half the world wiped out? Kill the man he loved? Kill the friends he was making and destroy a peaceful countries borders? _Because you’ve got nothing to prove?_

The words keep hitting him, past conversations and jokes. In his mind he could see the decline of Bucky’s smiles and his retreating into his mind then finally the smile Bucky had given him when his brain wasn’t brain washed anymore. It was so big, so happy. Steve can see Bucky running to help him and strangers he didn’t even know, trying to save them from Thanos. Steve can feel Bucky’s body pressed against his own as they hugged when they were reunited. Steve clenches the ash and gasps, doubling over himself. Steve pulls his knees to his chest and closes his eyes.

“I’m s....so s...so.... sorry Buck. I..... I..... shit I killed you. I’m so sorry.” The words scrape past Steve’s throat as he gathers more ash into his hand and holds it to his chest. “I love you. I’m so sorry.”

Steve can see Bucky so clearly in his mind, standing before him and reaching forward to grasp Steve’s shoulder. A pressure is against his shoulder and when he turns to look no one stands there. _Don’t cry you punk._

The words penetrate Steve’s mind and when he closes his eyes again he can see him and Bucky. They’re still in the forest but Bucky stands beside him, smiling. “B....Bucky?”

Words seem to float then crash around him. Still Bucky stands beside him and then moves to sit in front of him. Bucky’s hand waves through the ash beside him, not stirring it. _I’m not gone Stevie._

“Then where are you?”

_I.... I don’t know._ This version of Bucky looks confused as he speaks, and he huffs a sigh. _I can’t see you Stevie. Everyone... god there’s so many people. All of them are talking or screaming or asking for help. It’s like a fucking limbo. Only those who have a strong connection to earth, to someone is able to communicate. We aren’t dead just...._ Bucky releases his hand as if letting go of dirt.

“Dust.” Steve says quietly. “How can I hear you, see you when my eyes are closed?”

Bucky looks behind him before nodding and turning back to Steve. _T’Challa is here. He says it’s like their afterworld. When they drink the juice of the plant that makes them into the Black Panther they enter a limbo world where they can talk to their ancestors. We are in the limbo world and I’ve managed to pull you into it, shape it into your surroundings._

“Bucky...”

_You’re such a punk you know that?_ There’s a lightness to Bucky’s tone as he jokes with Steve, smiling at him. _I don’t know how much energy I can exert here. But we’re all counting on you, those who are left. Sam and Wanda want you to know they’re okay though Sam is a little peeved he’s here with me._

Steve laughs out loud at this and shakes his head. “Bucky I’m sorry. I dragged you into this. I shouldn’t have.”

Bucky examines Steve before smiling. _I would follow your stupid ass anywhere. You don’t need to apologize. I want you to know Stevie... I’ll always be here. When you’re fighting, if you need to talk, I’ll be here._

“Do I have to come back here to talk to you?”

_No. But you need to bring some of my ash with you. Keep me close Stevie and I’ll be able to talk to you. And pick up my gun I don’t want that damned raccoon to get it._ This makes both of them laugh and Steve opens his eyes.

Steve sifts some of the dirt into the picture of Peggy he keeps with him. It’s the only vessel he has to carry Bucky’s ashes in, and he places it close to his heart again. Then Steve reaches down and grabs Bucky’s gun. Steve stops at the edge of the trees and closes his eyes. Bucky appears next to him. “Buck?”

_Yeah?_

“I love you.”

_I love you too. Now, go kick that giant raisins ass and bring me back to life so I can kiss you till you’re dizzy and don’t know which way is up._


End file.
